I like my coffee like i like my women… …from a third world country and at a reasonable price!

What did a bad teacher tell their wisecracking student? Don’t get smart with me.

The Marines are a department of the Navy… The Men’s Department

First original joke! Why did the rapper visit the urologist? Because his flows were so sick.

Just found a scary-looking Pokemon on my living room sofa. But then I realised it was my mother-in-law.

A hippo comes to a doctor… with a toad on his head. – What seems to be the problem? – There’s something stuck to my ass, – answers the toad.

Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.

HER: You almost ready to go to my mothers? ME: *looking out window wondering if the jump will only break a leg & not kill me* Be right down.

Here in Canada, we leave everything unlocked so that burglars don’t risk getting glass in their hand when they punch through our windows.

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.