I am genderfluid I sexually identify as mayonnaise. If you can’t stand it than you neeed to ketchup.

How do fallopian tubes like there eggs in the morning?? Ovary-sy

My physics teacher asked me if I understood the chapter on linear motion. I said, “yeah it’s pretty straightforward.”

before mcdonald’s i bet “don’t buy cheeseburgers from a clown” was a pretty hard and fast rule

Frank’s Girlfriend Frankfurter walks into his favorite bar holding a curvy Hamburger by the hand. “Hi guys,” he says. “Meet my girlfriend, Patty.”

There are two types of people in this world… Those that can recognise when data is missing…

Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? They’re always eating out.

What’s the last thing you hear before a pubic hair falls to the ground? *spits*

That awkward moment someone begins a tweet with “that awkward moment” & I slap their face with my dong.

Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon? Because it was full.