I opened the door for an old lady today… A few people stared when they seen me jump in front of her and just stand there to activate the automatic door though.

Have you seen www.stickytape.com? Yes I can’t tear myself away.

Why isn’t Barney the Dinosaur allowed to drive? Because everybody knows — tyrannosaurus wrecks.

How can you double your money? Look at it in a mirror.

Why does Father Christmas come down the chimney? It helps him slide down with ease,

Overactive Bladder Hotline. Can you hold please?

What do you call a all female flight crew? A box office

It all makes sense now!! Gay marriage and Pot legalized on the same day… Leviticus 20:13 “If a man lays with another man he should be stoned.” We’ve just been misinterpreting it all these years!!

Hey girl, are you my math homework? Because I want to do you on the table

Preacher: God’s love is unconditional! Me: Then why is there a hell? Preacher:…… Me: Your move.