Gold chains would make a great retirement gift. For a VERY good slave.

Winehouse paramedic was intoxicated on duty… … after attempting mouth to mouth resuscitation.

I was about to make a joke about Jupiter and a spacecraft… … but how did Juno about it?

TIL 5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions.

Why are Canadian Jews so poor? Because there are no pennies to pick up off the ground.

Elvis My wee pet mouse elvis has died ! He got caught in a trap !

If you have The Black Eyed Peas on your iPod, 2 things: number 1, you’re stupid and number 2, you have peas in a pod.

Did you hear about the Rabbi who made his own fireworks? He called them Mazel Tov Cocktails ^(I am **so** sorry) ^^I’ll ^^see ^^myself ^^out.

How many Wake Forest fraternity brothers does it take to make chocolate chip cookies? Seventeen. One to do it and sixteen to shell the M&M’s.

I got a girl pregnant in high school. Her son grew to be 6 foot 7 (200 cm). Biggest mistake I ever made.