*moonwalks into office* *draws dual finger guns* *fires off seven shots at Annie from HR* *holsters guns* *gets chosen for random drug test*

Don’t read part A backwards Its A trap

Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day… Teach a Nigerian to phish and he’ll become a prince.

This no more tears shampoo sucks. I’ve been feeding it to my friends kid and he’s still crying. nnnnMust be doing something wrong.

You are stuck in a room with Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump. You have a gun with 2 bullets in it, what do you do? *Shoot myself twice*

Hmmph! I’ve been trapped at my desk at work plenty of times and no one ever comes to rescue me.

Popsicle stick chemistry joke How did the gangster know the drug dealer was selling him a bad batch if meth? He said : “Nah amine”

I thought my publication about fish living on land would be a big hit Too bad it was just a flop

Micheal J. Fox made a Twitch account. He doesn’t play games, he just sits there.

Little Girl: “Mom I want to be a Redditor when i grow up” Mom: “Well pick one sweetie, you can’t do both”