What did the proctologist ask the restaurant goer? Can I push your stool in?

What is an astronomer’s favorite drink? *Star*bucks. [Sorry.](https://sarahk18.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/happy-ba-dum-tss-l.jpg)

Mary Had a Little Lamb She also had a bear. I’ve seen Mary’s little lamb. But, I’ve never seen her bear.

Did ypu know premature ejaculations are hereditary? It comes in your jeans.

Knock! Knock! Who’s there? I eat map. I eat map who? *My job here is done!*

Someone in South Korea accused North Korea of having assassination squads. That’s a lie. On an unrelated note, I need that guy’s address.

Why do baby clothes have pockets? I’ve never heard a baby say: “cigarettes,phone and keys alright let’s go”

My daughter does this thing where she copies EVERYTHING the dog does; Bark, beg, fetch etc. It was adorable! Until the dog humped the couch

Alton towers changed its name! To leg – go land

too poor for whole foods too ugly for walmart