Short Jokes

What is green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

People get so offended if you call certain people fat. You have to say jolly.

I applied for a job with the Brittle Bone Society. I don’t have any experience, but I’m prepared to give it a crack.

You can’t say happiness without saying penis. Coincidence ? I think NOT…

Sorry I yelled “SURPRISE!” when you caught me in bed with your husband. I was unaware that you don’t like surprises.

“Say TGIF ONE more time” I say, scowling at my coworker with no children, “Go ahead, say it again.”

Jokes on you TSA my body is 70% water and I just snuck it onto the plane

How many immigrants. Q) How many immigrants does it take to change a light bulb? A) None. That is our fucking job!