What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? **Virgin Mobile**

My penis is only a fraction of an inch… Thirty three thirds.

what do you call a young Chinese prostitute ? SUM YUNG HO

It’s nice to feel wanted. Even if it’s by the FBI.

I’m at work for another hour and my phone’s at 14%. If I don’t make it to the end of the day, tell all my friends, “Not much u”

In the trailer for the fourth Transformers movie a guy says “what the hell is that” when a Transformer approaches. THE FOURTH MOVIE.

Why did the army’s craftsman enact a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Policy? He didn’t want any glaze in the military

Yo momma’s so fat… …when she farted, they had proof for the hawking radiation theory.

I change Siri to a man’s voice and now it doesn’t answer any more questions and turns off for hours

What did Goku want to be when he was growing up? a SAIYANtist!