Knock Knock Who’s there ! Caterpillar ! Caterpillar who ? Caterpillar a few mice for you !

If FiveGuys had been founded by black people It should have been called ThreeGuys.

Ever since I got married I have sex almost every day. I almost had sex on Monday. I almost had sex on Tuesday…

I walked out naked one time and she’s like wtf. And I’m like this is how god made me! And she’s like no that’s how beer and tacos made you.

What is the difference between ooh and aah? Just three inches.

If you’ve never had diarrhea from drinking Jack Daniels… then you don’t know Jack shits.

So I wanted to make a YouTube channel about Reddit… They wouldn’t let me name it RedTube.

What did the Australian say to the hawk? Good eye!

I wonder if mormons support the transgendered? If they did, they could go on a transmission! — authentic dadjoke overheard at breakfast

“I’m a green onion and I’m here to say, I can be enjoyed most every day.” -A rapscallion