Let’s talk about pre-mature ejaculation real quick. Ok, all done.

[Possibly NSFW] Have you heard about it? “Hey, dude! Have you heard about urophilia? No? Well, urine for a good story”

How do you make a venetian blind? Poke his eyes out Credits go to my 90 year old grandfather, currently completing his PhD

Why did the Mexican man push his wife off the cliff? Tequila.

I made the kids put sunglasses on the snowman so he wouldn’t have to make eye contact with the neighbors.

My favorite Caesar quote. “Pizza! Pizza!”

Why are there stitch marks on zombies? Who’s giving them medical attention?

Want to solve the energy crisis? Develop a car that runs on self-delusion. Me and my fellow Americans have an unlimited supply.

Well, the definition of humour is not much humorous! The Incongruity Theory claims that humour is created out of a violation of an expectation.

I just saw two guys high five. What the hell? I thought we got rid of these people.