Impaired Sex I heard having sex with a mentally impaired person has its ups……. …..and Downs

A Polish man goes into the opticians… The optician says “Can you read the letters on the board?” “Read them?”, he says, “I know him !”

How do I know you’re getting laid tonight I’m stronger than you

Some Mexican guy just tackled me & put silver/grey tape all over my belly then ran away… I was ab-duct-taped by an alien. (I’m so sorry)

My wife is mad at me. Get this, her diary says I have boundary issues.

I just waited on hold 47 minutes for a tech that sounds like he learned English from a Furby.

What Did The Pirate Say On His 80th Birthday? Ayyyye Matey!!!

Some people won’t try bacon for religious reasons. I won’t try religion for bacon reasons.

What type of math is dead? Aerith-matic..

What kind of ring is the least exciting? A BOring