Ben Hur new politically correct versions For straight population: Ben Hur For homosexuals: Ben Gay For lesbians: Ben Wa

DATE: Are you a dog person or a cat person? ME: *gets really close to the date & whispers* I’m just a person, what bullshit question is this

Guy Fieri sisters name is Girl Fieri

Why do you never see a crackhead over 30? Cause they’re fucking dead

What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted people

Why can’t Helen Keller drive a car? Because she’s Dead.

“Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.”

A bear and a rabbit are pooping in the woods The bear asks the rabbit – “do you have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?” “Nope” So the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit.

My testicles are in The Guinness Book of Records. Got a few minutes before the librarian sees me.

Every night, I have attractive girls banging on my door And sometimes, I let them out!