What do you call a vaping vegan?1 Nothing! It isn’t like you’ll be able to get a word in!

Harambe walks into a bar… “What’ll you have?” says the bar tender “I’ll take a shot.” said Harambe

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? You put it in the microwave until its bill withers.

I studied abroad for a year. But she got really creeped out and moved away.

U can call me childish but When me and my ex broke up I used to go to her house ring the door bell and run away for few months

Restaurant chain commercials should run the disclaimer “Actual food might not tumble and splash in slow motion”.

What must a vampire ask before he has sex? Is it alright if I cum inside?

There are 2 types of people in the world. Those who don’t fold their clothes out of the dryer… …and women.

People keep telling me that I have a higher chance of getting mugged in London than in New York. Well, what do they expect, I don’t live in New York.

Last night my wife got pissed because I kicked the ice cubes I dropped under the refrigerator. But now it’s just water under the fridge.