What tribe is your bicep from?

You call it premature ejaculation, I call it being 15 minutes early.

If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I would never be bored again.

it must be killing england not to be able to make fun of our dumbasses because their dumbasses did brexit

How do you call a cow with no legs? You don’t, because cows don’t have phones.

As a Marxist I could never play CoD, because I refuse to create a class.

Ms. Pac Man is the biggest hoe in history For 25 cents she swallows until she fucking dies.

Where did Julius Caesar keep his armies? In his sleevies.

I had to ground my 8yo son for this one [NSFW] Son: Dad, why do you have to wrap a bunny in duct tape? Me: I don’t know son, why? Son: So it doesn’t explode when you fuck it! Me: Son: ( )

What is the best joke you have heard that was on the end of a Popsicle stick? Here is mine: Q: Where do snowmen dance? ——— A: At the snowball. Best joke at the end of a Popsicle stick