What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunji cord? My ass. LAWL

Girls and Catholic priests atleast have one thing in common, they both have a thing for immature assholes

What do you do when you see Michael J. Fox in a bathtub? Throw in a load of laundry.

What caused Captain Morgan’s shipwreck? He was on the rocks.

Someone needs to tell every movie and tv show that no cell phone beeps when you hit the “answer call” button.

My daughter, a hair stylist, has a tiny pair of scissors tattooed behind her ear with tiny red teardrops for clients she accidently stabbed.

i guess. 7..8…9? (horrible windows joke i’m sorry)

Hey, reddit, what is the most offensive joke you know? I just thought of this one. It should be pretty entertaining!

Where do astronauts leave their spacecraft? At parking meteors.

Atlantis sank to the bottom of the sea because some idiot started calling it “Hotlantis”.