When is a penis not a penis? When it’s a **foot**

Let’s change things up a bit. I thought I found a quarter inside one of my shoes. That would have been strange enough on its own, but it turned out to be a nickel, which made even less cents.

How do farmers party? They turnip the beets.

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably shit.

Two condoms walk past a gay bar… One condoms stops and turns to the other: “Hey. Wanna go in there and get shit-faced?”

Me: We spend a lot of time together. Her: Turn left. Me: Just think we should take this to the next level. Her: Arriving at destination.

A chicken and egg are lying in bed after having sex.. .. the chicken says; “well, that answers that old question”.

A nice buttocks. A *great* butt listens.

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap 8 people at once.

TIFU by buying a PT Cruiser