Do you know why every new bride smiles? Because she just gave her last blow job.

Ok, so, for some reason, my lesbian neighbours just gave me a brand new Rolex… I think they misunderstood when I said “I wanna watch.”

For somebody fluent in over six million forms of communication, it’s weird that C-3PO went with “gay-tinged passive aggression.”

If a crocodile makes shoes what does a banana make ? Slippers !

Did you hear about the guy with a jurisprudence fetish? He got off on a technicality.

Citizen of a secretive dictatorship – AMA! [this user has been jailed]

Dyslexic man So a dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Her: I’m sorry my baby keeps crying. He’s got teeth coming in. Me: Well, don’t worry, I’ll sign for them…

Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? A: Laughing stock.

How much power does a hearse have? 1 corpsepower