A Priest, A Pervert and A Pedophile Walks into a Bar

Old joke for Halloween. Why do witches not wear panties? For better grip on the broom

So Elon Musk, Chris Pratt, and Neil deGrasse Tysons walk into a bar…. There’s no punchline just give me upvotes.

Things you won’t catch me saying: What a great fucking meeting!

Greece just demanded royalties from all countries in the world for using democracy “As for Russia, they don’t have to pay us anything”- Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras clarified earlier today.

What do you call it when people line up well? High queue-ality.

Where do bourgeois monarchists get their coffee? Tsarbucks

Why do physicists have such a hard time figuring out why their experiments fail Monday through Thursday? Causal fridays.

How do you make a starfish shine? Drop it in sparkling water.

Why fart and waste it? When you can burp and taste it.