“…and then she farted and I swear her butt plug shot across the room like a rocket! That’s the last time we have Taco Bell.”

So… Hillary Clinton is giving this FBI agent a blow job at the Democratic Nation Convention … Hey…Chill out man…It’s politics, that’s how it works !!!

Your mouth makes the same movement’s as your butt when you say the word “poop”…. same with “explosive diarrhea”

How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced A buccaneer

How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face

How do you know if a Muslim is laughing online? He types, “HALOL”

Why was the leper hockey game cancelled? There was a face off in the corner

Whats more bruised than an old apple? My asshole after a night with Caitlyn Jenner

Did you guys hear about the new metal band playing at the winery this evening? They’re called Grapes of Wrath.

Why are oil miners and police men mortal enemies? One brings black stuff and the other gets rid of it