I once dated a guy with premature ejaculation. I don’t know why. I knew it wasn’t going to last. In fact, I could see it coming.

So I donated blood today… Good to know my blood is gonna be running through some other guy’s boner

Why was the obtuse triangle upset? Because he is never right.

I just microwaved my TV dinner & it came out fully cooked on the first try, so I’m basically a chef at Applebee’s now if anyone’s hungry.

A joke about mods [deleted]

I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you’re never, oh you knocked me down again, you are being very rude

I told a joke to my Chemistry teacher. He replied “Oh man, I slapped my neon that one”

What car does Boba Fett drive? A ManDeLorean.

My Grandfather had the heart of a lion and… A lifetime ban from the New York City zoo.

Why does China care so much about money? They can’t resist all of the cha-‘ching’.