My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear to it you can smell the ocean.

Two nuns walk into a bar. The third nun ducks.

Apparently the capital of Israel is totally impoverished. It’s a real Jerusaslum

What do giants and strippers have in common? They both grind on bones to make their bread.

a group of kittens is called a litter because kittens are garbage

What do you call an empty cheese whiz jar? Cheese Was! some old guy came up to me on the street and told me this one.

It’s politically incorrect to say ‘black paint’ these days… You must say, “Jamal, would you mind painting the fence please?”

All of the firefighters at my station are quick. They’re even “fast” asleep!

If we get pulled over this beer is yours. – Dads

Boko Haram Has Really CHANGED. I used to like these guys a lot. “Whiter Shade of Pale” was a great, great song. Look at them now. What happened with them? They sure made a wrong turn, somewhere!