There once were three holes in the ground… Well, well, well.

I drafted 1984 Madonna and a meatball sub for my fantasy football team. Hey, it’s my fantasy.

And the Lord said unto John, ‘…. come forth and ye shall receive eternal life.’ But John came fifth and won a toaster.

What’s an actuary? An accountant without the sense of humour.

Princess Diana had dandruff. Cops found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.

Where do people in Ghana go to watch football? The Ghanarena

What do I think about during sex? My wife waiting for me to get home.

~The Discovery of Fruit~ Ok, so far you’ve named the red one apple and the yellow one banana. What about the orange one? Really? *sighs*

Ever since I installed Adblocker Plus things haven’t been going so well.. All of a sudden chicks in my area are no longer interested in me.

Seals are just dog mermaids.