Ninja level hiding skills! Why do you never see Hippos hiding up in trees?? Because they are so darn good at it.

Did you hear about that guy who had his whole left side amputated? Yeah he’s all right now

Three feminists had a picnic… It didn’t last long – none of them made sandwiches.

Why should you always take two Mormon’s fishing? Cause if you take one, he’ll drink all your beer

What do you call a midget that can communicate with ghosts that recently escaped from a prison A small medium at large

Two potatos are in an oven.. .. One potato says to the other, “It’s hot in here” Then the other potato says, “Oh my god, a talking potato!”

I heard abortion was really a race issue. There is no gray area its all black and white.

I tried to impress a girl by putting my foot down on the pedal… ..turns out she’d seen a bin open like that before.

What do eagles and moles have in common? They both fly, except for the mole…

Two cannibals are eating a clown, one turns to the other and asks ‘does this taste funny to you?’ Ba da ba, tshhhh.