flappy bird misunderstanding someone told me to get flappy bird. trying to pick up women from my local bingo hall, was not what they meant.

A touchy-CNN reporter, while interviewing a Marine sniper asked, “What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?” The Marine shrugged and replied, “Recoil.”

Why couldn’t the anarchist draw a straight line? He didn’t have a ruler!

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 raped 6 when he was 4.

This week’s weather forecast: Sweaty underboobs.

Why did the bee put on a yarmulka He didn’t want anyone to think he was a WASP.

I could never be a politician because every time it was my turn to talk in a debate, it would start off with “Listen you f*cking prick.”

Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? A: His ghoul friend.

I was going to tell a Voldemort joke…. But everyone already nose it.

Why are the best accountants twins from Prague? Because they always double Czech their work!