Spider Can, Spider Can, bunch of spiders in a can. Shake it up, spiders mad, open it, they bite your hand. Look out! I have a spider can

the poor people on welfare should not eat steak and sea food. they should be drinking raw sewage out of an old boot while thanking me

Two blondes are waiting at a traffic light One says “It’s green.” The other ponders a few seconds, then replies “A frog”

Do you ever think about the Vice President… …sitting at his desk, looking around his office and thinking to himself, “Fucking corners.”

How to rid yourself of geeks [**star wars spoilers**] thats how

What stretches further, skin or rubber? Skin, it says in the scripture that Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked 3 miles to the next town.

Why did the azn cross the road? his parents beat him daily for A- grade.

Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.” Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!” Doctor: “Nine.”

TIL that ‘gullible’ has been removed from the latest edition of the Oxford English dictionary… Seriously. I swear.

What are a NEET’s favorite type of shoes? REEEEEEEEEEEEBOKS