What do you call a horse that has been kicked out of his house? Unstable

Who could it be? there’s a big idiot between the “I” and the “Y” on the keyboard. Why don’t you go and see who it is?

If you want to touch the sky… Fuck a duck and you will fly! (I don’ know who is credited with first saying this time-honored literary pearl.)

“You’re telling me that I’m losing my job because Trump won the election? IS IT BECAUSE I’M BLACK?!” “Mister President, we’ve been over this…”

What’s Captain Picard’s favorite game system? N-Gage

I couldnt go back to work, especially after what my shitty boss said to me. Damn, what did he say? You are fired

I met an atheist that worked for a charity She said it was a non-prophet organization.

An example of men’s inability to understand women – Me: I have Nothing To Wear!! Him: Awesome!

My wife is from England so I gave her a good Rogering for Valentine’s Day. He just left and she seemed to enjoy it, so… score?

A Guy Walks Into A Bar And Sees… (nsfw, I guess) … a dog licking its balls. He says “I wish I could do that” and the bartender say “Give him a biscuit, he might let you.”