Did you hear about the redditor who had a girlfriend?

fooling around I was sucking off this bird last night when I thought, “Wait a minute…”

Why do the French stink? So blind people can hate them too

The year is 2200. All fossil fuels are depleted. Our only source for coal is Santa Claus. Everyone must be naughty for the sake of mankind.

What did the chemist say when hr found 2 isotopes of helium? HeHe

There’s a cure for kleptomania! They make a pilfer that.

I’ve now had my account locked and been forced to change my password so many times it is up to: password1234567

If you were stranded on an island and could bring three items what would you bring? Michael Phelps, a saddle, and stick with a gold medal on the end.

TIL that the current chinese president Xi Jinping, has a PhD in English literature. That’s why the Chinese people call him “The Great Reader”.

What present can you give to the woman who has everything? Antibiotics.