Why do hippies like to swim way offshore? Cause it’s far out, man

You think I’m over dramatic? When an octopus gets upset, it eats itself. THAT’S over dramatic.

Me + + Loud Music = Wildly dancing like no one ever imagined.

There was an ignition recall on my new car…. I guess we’re off to a bad start.

Have you seen the new Stephen Hawking’s movie? They say it’s too good you won’t be able to move from your seat the entire film.

Q: What do kids like to eat in the playground? A: Recess Pieces.

Tips for Guys on Valentine’s Day: Tell your girl you already got somethingn and make her guess. She’ll automatically list things she want.

A guy gets hit on the head by a falling soda can. But he’s allright. Guess he was lucky *puts on sunglasses* It was a soft drink #FFFC

What are filipinos horror stories? Crispy Pata

I’m reading a book titled “The Indestructible Dog”. I just can’t put it down.