I don’t get why people are upset with Beyonce supporting the black panthers during the Super Bowl… The losing team was already FULL of black panthers

Stupid people need a CPU upgrade, colorblind people need a GPU upgrade. Just thought of this a few minutes ago, thought you guys might like it.

Ways to tell a woman’s mad at you: 1. She’s silent. 2. She’s yelling. 3. She acts the same. 4. She acts different. 5. She murdered you.

I sent an Adele album to a guy who bought it on eBay, anyway his payment cancelled and I’m out of pocket …. Should I just give up or should I keep on chasing payments

Ah yes. I’ve linked my Twitter to my WordPress, and my LinkedIn to Klout. Now it’s time to interface my Acura ILX with a giant redwood

Teacher: “What did the Indians bring to the first Thanksgiving?” Student: “Baseballs.” Teacher: “Baseballs?” Student: “Yeah they were Cleveland Indians!”

Best Relationship Advice: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate it’s tits a lot

Less than 3% of the world’s mantis population are atheists.

What do you call a Muslim pilot? A hijacker