Being successful is like getting pregnant.. ..Everyone will come to congratulate you but no one dares to ask how hard and how many times you were fucked.

At school the other kids used to push me around and call me lazy I loved that wheelchair.

How did the man get the woman into the pool club? He snooker in!

What’s so difficult about being a camera man in the porn industry? Recording with one hand..

I know one person who thinks he’s an owl. Who? Now I know two.

A man goes to the zoo. There’s only one animal, a dog. It’s a pretty Shitzu

K1: Frankincence K2: Myrrh K3: Gold K1 & K2: WHAT? K3: Gold K1: We said 20 each! K3: I.. K1: I hate you K3: Wrap it from all of us?

Q: What goes: click click click “Now? FUCK!” click click click “Now? FUCK!” etc… A: A blind guy working a Rubix cube.

Why does Tiger have to take so many baths? Because he plays with Pooh all day.

My friend had a dog… My friend had a dog that could only bark below 100hz. It was a sub woofer