why did Microsoft skip 9? because 7 , 8 , 9 !

Just made 7 decisions based on my phone’s battery life.

In 1969 we put a man on the moon… In 2016 we put a man in the ladies restroom.

Why did Hitler invade Poland? To get to the other side.

If FedEx and Ups merged would they call it Fed UP?

A man asked me if I could figure out how to operate a camera… I told him I’d look into it and give it my best shot.

If we’re going to do racist jokes How’s a Mexican like a cue ball? The harder you hit it the more English it picks up!

Two hikers are standing on a bridge over a stream, peeing over the side. First hiker: “Wow, this water’s cold.” Second hiker: “And deep.”

“Well, there goes the end of my arm,” said Tom offhandedly.

What do you call an orgy with five black people? A threeway