Guy playing chess with his Central European lover “Czech and mate”

Psychic porn stars always see it coming.

What do you call an ant who skips school ? A truant !

If Clinton is elected president… It will be the first time two presidents slept with each other…

My roommate forgot to pay the cable bill this month. They came and cut our Cox off.

“I beat you, fair and square” – Me telling you what I did to you, where I did it, and what my favorite shape is

Ingredients for an apocalypse salad Edive, thyme

Why doesn’t Nigel Farage like election forecasts? He dislikes ~~poles~~ polls How do you type jokes that rely on similar sounding words? It hard 🙁

Why aren’t healthy drive-thrus a thing? I want an egg and a grapefruit and a latte and I don’t want to get out of my car damn it.

What rock group has four men that don’t sing? Mount Rushmore