I don’t mind holding my wife’s purse. It’s the only time I get to be close to my balls.

What was the difference between C# and VB About 6 months.

Uma Thurman’s eyes are so wide apart…… she can accurately measure the distance to the moon using parallax.

I just emptied a caprisun into a glass and added vodka so that’s where i’m at in life.

Pretended to add my number into this obnoxious guy’s phone. All I did was edit his mom’s contact. Hope she likes dick pics and booty calls.

Menstruation jokes are never funny… Period.

Fun prank Make them study for 18 years then don’t give them jobs

My company is hiring someone for a Business Development, Sales and Marketing position… They’re gonna call the new hire the BDSM Executive.

Zelda is a web browser Because Link appears in it.

What’s Darth Vader’s Favorite Mineral? co-pper