Coming up to the anniversary of 9/11 a reminder, that jokes about this tragedy are plane wrong.

When you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, it means you’ve been using Apple Maps.

How do you piss off Reddit? [deleted]

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does the same movies over again. Who’ll he fight? The same bad guys! Billion dollar film franchise.

“You’re an idiot.” -My wife, after frantically looking around after I scream the word “HAY!” while pointing at hay for the millionth time.

I masturbated on a roller-coaster once… …it was a real white-knuckle ride.

Why is Jennifer Lawrence the only one freaking out about the nude photo leak? Because she’s the only one with a fat load on her face.

Please stop praying for my grandpa u are making him too strong. He broke out of the hospital & cops say their tasers don’t work on him 🙁

How does Dracula eat his food? In *bite* size pieces

I havent had sex But i spilled water on a cat once Does that count as getting the pussy wet?