Who makes more money, a cocaine dealer or a prostitute? A prostitute because she can always wash her crack and sell it again!

What’s more fun than swinging a dead baby by a string? Stopping it with a shovel!

How do you hit 20 flies in one shot? Hit an Ethiopian in the head with a frying pan.

Girls in Thailand are like a box of chocolates Some of them have nuts

You know what’s the ultimate form of rejection? When your hand goes to sleep while you’re masturbating.

What do you call a fast sheep in Ireland? A virgin.

What does the average cat say? Mu

[Donald Duck opens gift] Daisy: It’s pants. Try them on! Donald: [stands] STOP TRYING TO CHANGE ME WOMAN

Twitter announced today that they’ve lost 134 million dollars this year. I don’t know if they want us to look for it or what the deal is.

For mother day my mom is going to get the same as always disappointment 🙁