Still in love with various hypothetical women.

You can make up any word you want in conversation and if you use it in a dilsationary way, people rarely question the meaning.

My wife said “You only love me because my father left me a million pounds.” “That’s not true, I’d still love you whoever left it to you”

My phone changed “you wanna hang” to “you wanna bang” and send……..

People in California be like Tree down walkway closed!

A Pokemon go user walks into a bar Because he was too busy looking at his phone to notice it

For the last time, I’m not racist! I specifically called it African American Friday!

There were two fish in a tank… one turns to the other and says “do you know how to drive this thing?”

I like my women like I like my cigars 7 years old and coming from Cuba in a burlap sack

Why did the bee get married? He found his honey!