–Whenever I am down in the dumps, I buy a new hat. –So that’s where you get them.

“Mom I wanna go bungee jumping.” “NO!” “But all my friends are going” “Oh! So if your friends jump off a cliff, will you too?” “Er…yes”

Licked a frog once. He didn’t turn into a prince but he did turn into an ambulance ride.

Which country has the highest number of foolish people? Hungary. Stay Hungary, Stay Foolish

I just took a Baking Class The final was a piece of cake.

*gets called a psychopath *googles “What’s the average IQ of a psychopath?” AWWW, HE THINKS I’M REALLY SMART.

Pokemon GO is the biggest thing right now, guess whats up next! Plantation Tycoon DownSouth 1600s Go Railroad 1800’s Tycoon Auschwitz Tycoon Pedophile Go

According to the principle of the sandwich, if you put butter on both sides the sandwich will hang in the air.

*1st date* “Nothing’s sexier than a man who can surprise me & make me laugh” *cut to me in her closet in a clown suit* “Hellooo soulmate”

What do the Patriots and Lance Armstrong have in common? They only have one good ball.