Katt williams lost a fight to a 7th grader. This was not the first time he looked like a complete idiot in front of a crowd.

Whenever I weigh myself, I always subtract 10 pounds. I don’t think boobs, brains, and an ass this fabulous should count against me.

A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly “Awww look at the dead birdie.” The blonde stops looks up and says “Where?”

Why was the Formica factory so inefficient? Everything they did was counter productive.

What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause.

Trunk dweeting. BRB

Pretty sure the neighbors are impressed with the banging and screaming they heard. Little do they know it was just me chasing a spider.

I’d like to open a Greek sandwich shop in Lower Manhattan. I’ll call it Ground Gyro.

I wanted to put a pizza joke here …but it was too saucy.

What do you do if a bird shits on your head? Don’t go out with her again!