I saw a kidnapping this afternoon.. so i woke i’m up. Hahaha

Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? It’s OK. He’s all right now.

I watched ‘The Gods Must Be Crazy’ for the first time. I don’t want to talk about it.

Girl are you a gorilla enclosure Because I want to throw a kid in you.

Have you seen Human Centipede 3? Its the same shit.

I love to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do you want…

Friday is like a bra… You did your job all week, now it’s time to take it off!… anyone need a hand??

I asked my North Korean Friend how it was there… He said he couldn’t complain

What do you call a cavator that isnt a cavator anymore? an EXcavator

Why are there no Jews on Jupiter? Because it’s a gas planet