Why was hitler bad with directions? Because three reichs don’t make a left.

4th of july British people say that we as Americans go overboard with the 4th of July. When really the only thing that went overboard was their tea

looks like our killer left his calling card. 5 cents/min to canada, 7c/min to puerto rico. he knows what he’s doing.

Q: Can February March? No. But April May!

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

I don’t have a problem with man buns You used to have to talk to someone for 3 or 4 minutes to figure out if he’s a fuckhead

How do you spell moron? M O R M O N

What do you call a dog wearing a watch? You would call it a dog. A dog wearing a watch is not a watchdog.

This month is so 08/15

Thinking about free healthcare and how much it’s going to cost me?