She told me she liked it doggy style so I gave her a treat & took her for a walk.

Why can’t single women fart? They don’t get an asshole till they get married.

If you think Phil Robertson (the Duck Dynasty guy) has offensive view regarding homosexuality, or slavery… You should hear his answers regarding evolution, climate change, or 8 plus 9.

how do you get a toddled car repaired you get another one for you toddled car get it?? re-paired

I was gonna tell a Holocaust joke but I ran out of gas.

People who speak who speak 3 languages are trilingual People who speak 2 languages are bilingual. People who speak 1 language are Americans.

A lion walks the desert and sees an armored knight. “Oh no, not canned meat again!”

Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they’d all say “Bach bach bach!”

4-year-old: Can you hold my rubber ducky? Me: *takes the ducky* Why? 4: I dropped it in the toilet.

Two blondes stood on a riverbank across one another… One blonde yells out, “How do I get to the other side?” The other blonde replies, “You ARE on the other side!”