What did one gay sperm say to another gay sperm? How do we find an egg in all this shit? Credit to my friend telling me

I woke up suddenly terrified I’m late for work… I opened my eyes and chilled – I’m at work.

Want to hear a great joke? Well then fuck you because I’m typing off a keyboard.

I covered my gf with dough and raisins and put her in the oven to annoy her. Hell hath no fury like a woman sconed

Why don’t blind people like skydiving? Scares their dogs.

My friend said he’ll shave his hair for the first time in forever… I told him it was a….*bold* move.

I’m not slurring, I’m speaking in cursive.

I thought by this point in my life I would know what to do with my arms when I sleep, but nope, still confused.

how did canada choose its name? They pulled letters out of a hat. C, eh N, eh D, eh

Want to know how to annoy someone who has OCD?