If you squint, Pitbull looks like a grown up Tommy Pickles from Rugrats.

If Spider Man eats too much fruit he squirts Silly String.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None because feminists can’t change anything…

How many optometrists does it take to change a lightbulb? 1 or 2. Just 1…. Or 2…?

INTERVIEWER: So, do you have any questions for me? ME: What’s the Wi-Fi password? I: About the job M: What is the company Wi-fi password?

What is a Japanese favourite beverage that they don’t remember? “Affogato”

When people with bible quotes in their bio follow me…I don’t know man. I think you’re gonna have a bad time

How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the chin..

i have been told spending the night in this haunted house will grant me immunity from being pranked or fooled on the april fool day

What do you call a threesome? Q: What do you call a threesome with a man and two women? A: *Fucking awesome.* Q: What do you call a threesome with a woman and two men? A: *Gay sex with a witness.*