How do you keep men on their toes? Raise the urinals

Remember when you used to blow bubbles as a kid? Well, he gets out of jail next month.

I read the Constitution… …but only for the articles.

Please don’t bore your friends with your troubles and worries. Tell your enemies instead, who will be delighted to hear about them.

Directions to take a 1000 mile journey Step 1

It’s gonna be ok.

I want a woman for our president. Like the one we got for Bill.

Where do Zika babies come from? A guy trying to get a little head.

My wife asked me to bring home stuff for the pancakes yesterday. She wasn’t happy when I came back with a push up bra.

What is programmers’ favorite wine? [yellow tail]