Why was the kitchen full of awkward sexual tension? Because the pot never called the kettle back.

How many dyslexics does it screw to take in a light bulb?

My Dad has the heart of a lion and so much hate mail he had to shut down his dental practice

What do you call a scary frog A creepy leapy

I should become a bomb specialist… It’s a booming industry. Heh.

Whenever you find four Priests… you’ll find a Fifth.

My boyfriend has the body of a god! Or the body of God. Okay, he’s like the body of Christ. What I mean is, he’s a round white cracker.

Where did Sadam Hussein keep his CD collection? In Iraq.

I saw the headless horseman riding down the street the othrr day Does anyone know where he might beheaded?

My boss asked why he didnt see me at work on halloween. I told him I went as god. I clearly was never there, and all the work that got done I did not do.