I bought a muzzle for my pet duck…. Nothing flashy, but it fits the bill.

Why do Chinese knights have a low rate of survival? They all have chinks in their armor.

What kind of organisation is Atheism? A non-prophet organisation.

Procrastination is a really deep word. I’ll tell you guys the rest some other day.

What’s a specimen? A Spanish astronaut

Movie Idea: Lohan. Bynes. Statham. DEATH RACE 2

vote for me if ew like it watsup boring.facebook fucking.viber irritating.tango disgusting.skype ignoring. google porn’in ….lyf is complicated.

Knock Knock Who’s there ! Beth ! Beth who ? Beth wisheth thweetie !

What does Marilyn Quayle have in common with Marion Barry? They’ve both been known to blow a little dope.

Q: How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, “man, I could do that!”