What do you call a vibrating cat? An ocellate.

How do you stop a Lion from charging? have a successful dentistry practise.

I lost 100 pounds… and I only got half an hour. London chicks are pricy as hell.

In a farmers market, Farmer A sells pumpkins, Farmer B sells strawberries, what does Farmer C sell? Medicine … runs off …

My favorite part of the bible is when god gives people free will and then kills everyone with a flood for not acting the way he wanted .

Why was a 9 year old allowed on a shooting range. In my school yoyo’s were banned after Jenny got a black eye doing an ‘Around the World’

What do you call a Dothraki mathematician? Khal-culator.

Yo Mama’s so fat she sank the Titanic!

What’s the definition of innocence? A nun working in a condom factory thinking she’s making sleeping bags for mice.

When someone says “women like you” to me, I assume they’re referring to extremely powerful wizards.