What is Dracula’s favorite pudding? Leeches and scream.

A lion will never cheat on his wife But a Tiger Wood!

Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we’re married and live together so I’d have to see them every day.

Next time you prematurely ejaculate Just remember you probably still lasted longer than Ronda Rousey

Minesweeper What Hitler called his cleaning lady.

What do you call a midget that does cocaine? A low blow

I will give Canada this. Their geese are hard to keep in a headlock.

What do they have for lunch at Monster School? Human beans boiled legs pickled bunions and eyes-cream.

How is an NBA photographer like a Trump supporter? They both want to shoot black people.

Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.