My brother & I’ve competed for title of family black sheep for yrs. He checked in at a strip-club…on FB. Well played brother, well played

I read in the 1930’s teething babies were given cocaine. Ridiculous! If they had tooth ache they probably didn’t even want to party.

A friend of mine just got fired from his job as a butcher. Apparently he was offal.

I knew she’d been working at the foundry… because I smelter.

How do you put out a maxipad fire? You tampon it.

What the opposite of progress? Congress

What did the constipated mathematician do… …worked it out with a pencil

What is the warmest organ in the female body after she dies? The dick

How do you think the whole Deflategate situation feels to Tom Brady now? Probably doesn’t feel how he prefers it to…

Scientists believe that one day we will find Sasquatch, just… not Yeti.