What is a terrorist his favourite car? A Citroen C4

Every time I open my mouth, some idiot starts talking.

How should you send a letter to the Easter Bunny? By hare mail!

What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef, but no one can pee soup.

So I went to a restaurant called Bukkake the other day… WAY too much sauce on everything.

I finally found a simple and easy way to deal with my weight problem. I threw my scale out.

Everybody at the party got upset when Baby Jesus turned the wine into breast milk.

What type of meat are your calves made of? Bologna.

There are two kinds of people in this world. People who say they piss in the shower, and dirty fucking liars.

What did one friend say to another on a flight that made him get escorted off of it? (WARNING: PUNNY AS HELL) “Hi Jack! These airplanes are da bomb!” how did i do? thought of it a couple days ago.